Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
