her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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