i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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