yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
