sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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