Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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