break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
