It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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