It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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