that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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