just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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