just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
