When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
