just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
