So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
