I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize