I love black thongs
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There r osticjed everywhere
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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