I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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