PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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