dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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