So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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