whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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