just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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