butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
