I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
