I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
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Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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