So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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