stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
