bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
