I cockslap morals
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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