my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
