I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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