we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
