FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
