Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So many bounce houses so little time
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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