i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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