I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
