i just google imaged poop.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
