sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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