Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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