Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
