I don't usually arrange sex via text message
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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