kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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