Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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