I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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