Say something about gay babies.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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