Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
