some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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