I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
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