she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
