There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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