next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
