I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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