I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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