Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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