She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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