I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Houston, we have a squirter
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
